I still want my dream to come true.
Monday, August 30, 2010 // 10:55 PM
No, this time, it is not some crazy little impossible dream of mine. It has never been. I used to want to be a violinist. I still want to be. A little dream, nothing special or extraordinary. It's just a me thing I guess. I always thought it was nice to play a string instrument. That dream is shattered.
From the start, I was really happy to even learn piano, thinking that having at least a little music background will help me in the future if I ever get to learn piano. Then, a few years later, playing the piano had become part of my everyday routine. My skills matured a lot after constant practice. Then it occurred to me that I may never learn any string instrument because my fingers will lose sensitivity. It's either piano or that. I chose piano because it has always been there for me. It's a part of my life now.
This year, my wrist problems really upset me. No more piano. No more music. I don't know what's left in life anymore. An empty shell. No more excitement, no more stress whenever I can't play something, no more sense of accomplishment when I do something incredible on the keys, no more venting of anger, no more emotional destress by having one night stands with christmas carols. I haven't been thinking a lot. Losing music (piano) equates to losing almost everything to me. It was an immediate notice. I wasn't mentally prepared at all. I haven't recovered from my shock yet. I think most people know that I'd rather die than lose my ability to play the piano. I did try, when I'm not supposed to. I can never believe how I sound. It's not even amateurish. It's worse that that. I can't find a word that describe how it sounds. Letting someone hear a pianist play such music is an insult to all musicians and music itself.
I guess my nonchalant attitude towards life, towards everything I have is just too much. One should cherish whatever they have, should be thankful for what him/her have because the most important thing to him/her may not be see as it is after he/she loses it. The most insignificant thing in life may become the most important/needed/wanted thing in your life once you lose it. Nothing you have is given by chance. We all should be thankful.
I still want my dream to come true.
Monday, August 30, 2010 // 10:55 PM
No, this time, it is not some crazy little impossible dream of mine. It has never been. I used to want to be a violinist. I still want to be. A little dream, nothing special or extraordinary. It's just a me thing I guess. I always thought it was nice to play a string instrument. That dream is shattered.
From the start, I was really happy to even learn piano, thinking that having at least a little music background will help me in the future if I ever get to learn piano. Then, a few years later, playing the piano had become part of my everyday routine. My skills matured a lot after constant practice. Then it occurred to me that I may never learn any string instrument because my fingers will lose sensitivity. It's either piano or that. I chose piano because it has always been there for me. It's a part of my life now.
This year, my wrist problems really upset me. No more piano. No more music. I don't know what's left in life anymore. An empty shell. No more excitement, no more stress whenever I can't play something, no more sense of accomplishment when I do something incredible on the keys, no more venting of anger, no more emotional destress by having one night stands with christmas carols. I haven't been thinking a lot. Losing music (piano) equates to losing almost everything to me. It was an immediate notice. I wasn't mentally prepared at all. I haven't recovered from my shock yet. I think most people know that I'd rather die than lose my ability to play the piano. I did try, when I'm not supposed to. I can never believe how I sound. It's not even amateurish. It's worse that that. I can't find a word that describe how it sounds. Letting someone hear a pianist play such music is an insult to all musicians and music itself.
I guess my nonchalant attitude towards life, towards everything I have is just too much. One should cherish whatever they have, should be thankful for what him/her have because the most important thing to him/her may not be see as it is after he/she loses it. The most insignificant thing in life may become the most important/needed/wanted thing in your life once you lose it. Nothing you have is given by chance. We all should be thankful.
grew up in a small town,
and when the rain would fall down. i'd just stare out my window.
Hi, my name is MELISSALOKQIANHUI.
I’m currently in BOWEN secondary school, in an awesome class 3e2/4e2
I’m a part of the Bowen Military Band
That’s all you need to know, really.
