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buildings with a hundred floors,
spinning 'round revolving doors.
baby i don't know where they'll take me.

entries about chat links



breakaway
a short profile perhaps ?
a music player or hit counter ?
Pretense,
Saturday, June 19, 2010 // 11:54 PM

I wonder, I wonder. Today might just happen to be one of the worse days of my life. Well, their hypocrisy shouldn't have alarmed me, no I'm not alarmed. But it just shock me how sub-human they are, because if you're human, you'd never ever insult or hurt people so much, because they're just ordinary people to you and you don't even hate 'em. It only shows what kind of person you are, I give up on you people finally, even though I should have long ago. So much for convincing people to love one another, what are you even doing?

Pretend you don't love him, just pretend. Then two things will happen. He'll realize how much he misses you or you'll realize how much you don't need him I'm surprised that this isn't happening yet. Yeah, pretend. But it takes a lot to do that. To pretend that it doesn't exist in you.

Yes, it takes lotsa courage to love someone, love someone that doesn't return his/her love. I understand the how it feels to have the person who means everything to you feel makes you feel like you're nothing. It does suck, and sometimes I wonder how stupid it will seem to him - how I sit here with my eyes never leaving the screen of the phone waiting for his new text or how when I miss him I read the things he told me months and months ago. I really wonder what he'll say when he knew he meant so much to me. Well, no point wondering. I'd never know. I'd never find out. HAHA. Pathetic. It just suck all the happiness and energy out of me. I'm tired. Really tired of how pathetic I am, still standing on the same spot after more than 5 months. Never mind. Forget it. I'm always like that anyway. It won't be me if I'm living my happily-ever-after now. HEH.

I wish I could watch a movie or listen to a song without thinking of you. Walking through a bookstore has become a chore because each title, each cover, each beautiful word sends images of you into my mind. I can't even close my eyes without you being there, but imagining you just isn't enough. I want you to be by side so that each time I'm reminded of you, I can look over my shoulder and be reminded all over again. Oh well, just oh well. It's never happening, so start fantasizing.