Sunday, May 30, 2010 // 10:38 PM
Okay, life does suck right now. Let me die. I can't fall asleep, yeah. Sucks, I was so freaking tired yesterday after the whole amazing race thing, but was still wide awake at 2. Mad right, I was pretty amazed that I wasn't sleepy in church, on the way there or on the way back. Good thing.
I can't fall asleep, I just can't. It feels like shit. Especially on a Saturday night, because there's church on Sunday. So yeah, I've got a really bad night, I felt like eating sleeping pills because i was worn-out and I wasn't able to sleep. Sounds impossible, try it yourself and you know how suicidal it'll feel.
I'm totally stressed up about tomorrow's band practice, E-flat's gonna kill. I don't know how I'm gonna play the scores with those super high pitched notes. I hope I won't get scolded or something for the lousy playing. I'm not used to the new tiny mouthpiece. The teeth mark on my lips should prove that. 2 holes. How nice right? It sucks to the max. I hope I can master it soon though. Shouldn't throw face, not mine, nor the section's. Sucks, must practice like hell already. I hope my lips won't bleed tomorrow.
It's hard you know, to not dare to sleep. When I sleep, I dream. I remember. I relive those things. I've to start from the scratch to erase and everything. It's not fun you know. It's painful. Nothing numbs it. Try how it feels. I want to make myself hate you. I want to. But I can't. I really can't. I don't get why I'm taking so long to get over you, the one everybody thinks unworthy of. I don't know why I love you so much, when you don't love me anymore. Nope, you never did.
PS. Sometimes, I wish I haven't met you in my life.
Sunday, May 30, 2010 // 10:38 PM
Okay, life does suck right now. Let me die. I can't fall asleep, yeah. Sucks, I was so freaking tired yesterday after the whole amazing race thing, but was still wide awake at 2. Mad right, I was pretty amazed that I wasn't sleepy in church, on the way there or on the way back. Good thing.
I can't fall asleep, I just can't. It feels like shit. Especially on a Saturday night, because there's church on Sunday. So yeah, I've got a really bad night, I felt like eating sleeping pills because i was worn-out and I wasn't able to sleep. Sounds impossible, try it yourself and you know how suicidal it'll feel.
I'm totally stressed up about tomorrow's band practice, E-flat's gonna kill. I don't know how I'm gonna play the scores with those super high pitched notes. I hope I won't get scolded or something for the lousy playing. I'm not used to the new tiny mouthpiece. The teeth mark on my lips should prove that. 2 holes. How nice right? It sucks to the max. I hope I can master it soon though. Shouldn't throw face, not mine, nor the section's. Sucks, must practice like hell already. I hope my lips won't bleed tomorrow.
It's hard you know, to not dare to sleep. When I sleep, I dream. I remember. I relive those things. I've to start from the scratch to erase and everything. It's not fun you know. It's painful. Nothing numbs it. Try how it feels. I want to make myself hate you. I want to. But I can't. I really can't. I don't get why I'm taking so long to get over you, the one everybody thinks unworthy of. I don't know why I love you so much, when you don't love me anymore. Nope, you never did.
PS. Sometimes, I wish I haven't met you in my life.
grew up in a small town,
and when the rain would fall down. i'd just stare out my window.
Hi, my name is MELISSALOKQIANHUI.
I’m currently in BOWEN secondary school, in an awesome class 3e2/4e2
I’m a part of the Bowen Military Band
That’s all you need to know, really.
