Tuesday, May 25, 2010 // 10:59 PM
I'm waiting. Waiting for the Mcfly album. Hopefully by then I'll be a little tiny bit richer to buy it. I'm still very very poor. Sucks. I hope Singapore will sell it. I'm going crazy over Mcfly. Dougie Poynter. HAHA...
I'm weird, weirder by the day. I went crazy blasting music yesterday night. Or today morning. MIDNIGHT. I was singing and nodding my head away on my bed, then jumping up and down on my bed. Nope, I'm not a teeny weeny bit normal. It's the thing that I feel all the time nowadays. I don't even know what it's called. It's freaky, no doubt. I don't even know how I myself feel and what kind of emotions I'm actually feeling. It does. SUCK. I'm dying soon at this rate. I'll kill myself because of the overwhelming stress. Yes, maybe I should. GOOD RIDDANCE. Faster. Don't need to wait for it to kill me.
Promises, all broken. Skipped choir again. I've lost my passion for it. I didn't mind doing those shit jobs that I'm not responsible to do in the past, now even dragging myself there is difficult. Harder than usual, maybe because of the jellybeans going up and down in my heart. I'm more depressed than usual. It's hard to even drag me out of the house. I hate being outside. I'm afraid of being outside to be exact. I don't feel save at all. I feel like I'm gonna die the moment I'm out of the house. Insecurity? YES. DAMN IT. It sucks, seriously. Whatever that has gotten into me these days is gonna kill me soon. Why oh why? LIFE SUCKS. I WISH I COULD TAKE DRUGS. OBVIOUSLY I CAN'T. SO I SHOULD JUST TAKE THE PLUNGE.
PS. I shouldn't have fell in love. Maybe falling off a bridge would hurt a great deal less, or maybe I would have died soon before I can actually feel something.
PPS. 'You don’t need a relationship to validate your self-worth. The most important relationship you’ll ever have is the one with yourself.' I should learn this by heart and apply it to myself. LIKE AS IF IT WOULD BE POSSIBLE. JUST LET ME DIE. FUCKMYLIFE.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010 // 10:59 PM
I'm waiting. Waiting for the Mcfly album. Hopefully by then I'll be a little tiny bit richer to buy it. I'm still very very poor. Sucks. I hope Singapore will sell it. I'm going crazy over Mcfly. Dougie Poynter. HAHA...
I'm weird, weirder by the day. I went crazy blasting music yesterday night. Or today morning. MIDNIGHT. I was singing and nodding my head away on my bed, then jumping up and down on my bed. Nope, I'm not a teeny weeny bit normal. It's the thing that I feel all the time nowadays. I don't even know what it's called. It's freaky, no doubt. I don't even know how I myself feel and what kind of emotions I'm actually feeling. It does. SUCK. I'm dying soon at this rate. I'll kill myself because of the overwhelming stress. Yes, maybe I should. GOOD RIDDANCE. Faster. Don't need to wait for it to kill me.
Promises, all broken. Skipped choir again. I've lost my passion for it. I didn't mind doing those shit jobs that I'm not responsible to do in the past, now even dragging myself there is difficult. Harder than usual, maybe because of the jellybeans going up and down in my heart. I'm more depressed than usual. It's hard to even drag me out of the house. I hate being outside. I'm afraid of being outside to be exact. I don't feel save at all. I feel like I'm gonna die the moment I'm out of the house. Insecurity? YES. DAMN IT. It sucks, seriously. Whatever that has gotten into me these days is gonna kill me soon. Why oh why? LIFE SUCKS. I WISH I COULD TAKE DRUGS. OBVIOUSLY I CAN'T. SO I SHOULD JUST TAKE THE PLUNGE.
PS. I shouldn't have fell in love. Maybe falling off a bridge would hurt a great deal less, or maybe I would have died soon before I can actually feel something.
PPS. 'You don’t need a relationship to validate your self-worth. The most important relationship you’ll ever have is the one with yourself.' I should learn this by heart and apply it to myself. LIKE AS IF IT WOULD BE POSSIBLE. JUST LET ME DIE. FUCKMYLIFE.
grew up in a small town,
and when the rain would fall down. i'd just stare out my window.
Hi, my name is MELISSALOKQIANHUI.
I’m currently in BOWEN secondary school, in an awesome class 3e2/4e2
I’m a part of the Bowen Military Band
That’s all you need to know, really.
