Tuesday, May 18, 2010 // 11:08 PM
I'm really mad. I seriously don't know what's wrong with me. I'm sorry if I've been not myself, but I can't help it anymore. There's something wrong and I don't know what is. It really suck. Besides the sucky part today, I did unexpectedly okay for my chemistry and social studies. I could have gotten A1 for combined humanities. I missed 75 by 1.5 marks. I could have gotten 60 for chemistry if I've got one mark more. But well, I passed. I didn't expect that. It's good enough already. I didn't work hard enough this time round. I deserve to get shitty results for that. I'm gonna work harder. No more clacking. I can't live with all that Cs in my report book.
Life suck no doubt. I'm losing myself. I'm sick of saying that already, but this time, it feels like it. I would still try to keep myself sane last time, but now. I can't even be bothered. I really have that temptation to break that promise. It didn't matter, I'm trying to convince myself. Everyone breaks their promises to me. I promise I won't led this fade, you don't even talk to me for years after you promised that. Everybody does that to me, so why make that effort to not break a promise? It suck. I need to get drunk. Being sober sucks. I don't think I'm quite sober now anyway. I can't think properly. So it sucks. I just hope and hope that I won't have to feel anything. Being numb sucks, but it's better that being so close yet so far, 'cause it's far more painful than you can ever imagine.
PS. One more night, I wanna be with you.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010 // 11:08 PM
I'm really mad. I seriously don't know what's wrong with me. I'm sorry if I've been not myself, but I can't help it anymore. There's something wrong and I don't know what is. It really suck. Besides the sucky part today, I did unexpectedly okay for my chemistry and social studies. I could have gotten A1 for combined humanities. I missed 75 by 1.5 marks. I could have gotten 60 for chemistry if I've got one mark more. But well, I passed. I didn't expect that. It's good enough already. I didn't work hard enough this time round. I deserve to get shitty results for that. I'm gonna work harder. No more clacking. I can't live with all that Cs in my report book.
Life suck no doubt. I'm losing myself. I'm sick of saying that already, but this time, it feels like it. I would still try to keep myself sane last time, but now. I can't even be bothered. I really have that temptation to break that promise. It didn't matter, I'm trying to convince myself. Everyone breaks their promises to me. I promise I won't led this fade, you don't even talk to me for years after you promised that. Everybody does that to me, so why make that effort to not break a promise? It suck. I need to get drunk. Being sober sucks. I don't think I'm quite sober now anyway. I can't think properly. So it sucks. I just hope and hope that I won't have to feel anything. Being numb sucks, but it's better that being so close yet so far, 'cause it's far more painful than you can ever imagine.
PS. One more night, I wanna be with you.
grew up in a small town,
and when the rain would fall down. i'd just stare out my window.
Hi, my name is MELISSALOKQIANHUI.
I’m currently in BOWEN secondary school, in an awesome class 3e2/4e2
I’m a part of the Bowen Military Band
That’s all you need to know, really.
dreaming of what could be,
and if i'll end up happy, i will pray.
