buildings with a hundred floors, spinning 'round revolving doors.
baby i don't know where they'll take me.
entriesaboutchatlinks
breakaway
a short profile perhaps ?
a music player or hit counter ?
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 // 10:27 PM
I'm gonna die soon. Small, but highly murderous. E flat clarinet. I'm gonna die soon. My lip is bleeding now. It's damn hard to pitch. My lips are so tired because the mouthpiece is so much smaller than the B flat clarinet's mouthpiece. I'm damn stressed up now. The score we're learning have a lot of super high-pitched notes. Killers. And I wanna kill myself now. I don't wanna disappoint Jonathan, 'cause he trusted me to be in E flat clarinet myself. I'm so gonna work hard. I'm gonna use cigarette paper so that my lips won't bleed. Hopefully everything will get better soon, when I get more used to the mouthpiece.
Believe in yourself? It doesn't seem to be possible when you're me. I'm tired of keep trying sometimes. It just... Doesn't work out for me. There's always a voice in my head saying, I'll never reach it. I give up. I wanna lose everything, even if it means my life with it. I always almost see those things, dreams coming true, but I lose it. I don't have the strength, the faith anymore. I'm sick of trying, yet falling down every single time. I'm sick of believing, because there's nothing to believe in at all. It's all fake. It's just a bloody illusion. No, no. I wanna die. I'm scared, I don't know what I'm scared of. The worst fear I'm facing now is being afraid of being scared. Yeah, complicated.
When I saw you today, I can't help but keep shooting secret glances at you. It hurst that much being so close to you, but not even daring to look at you straight. It's so painful. Unbearably painful. Why? Why always you're there when I'm in a bad shape, with really shitty moods? Why when I need more than anything a person to talk to, a hug from someone, you appear? I'm being stupid. I know. You don't care at all. You've already moved on. I remembered how you tried to convince and reassure me that I was really important to you, but 12 days after we fell out you told me you don't love me like you didn't ever felt anything from the start. It kills, the feeling. It does. I can only smile at my stupidity, my little fantasy. Yet, it's the only thing I want and long for now. You.
PS. I could really use a shooting star right now.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 // 10:27 PM
I'm gonna die soon. Small, but highly murderous. E flat clarinet. I'm gonna die soon. My lip is bleeding now. It's damn hard to pitch. My lips are so tired because the mouthpiece is so much smaller than the B flat clarinet's mouthpiece. I'm damn stressed up now. The score we're learning have a lot of super high-pitched notes. Killers. And I wanna kill myself now. I don't wanna disappoint Jonathan, 'cause he trusted me to be in E flat clarinet myself. I'm so gonna work hard. I'm gonna use cigarette paper so that my lips won't bleed. Hopefully everything will get better soon, when I get more used to the mouthpiece.
Believe in yourself? It doesn't seem to be possible when you're me. I'm tired of keep trying sometimes. It just... Doesn't work out for me. There's always a voice in my head saying, I'll never reach it. I give up. I wanna lose everything, even if it means my life with it. I always almost see those things, dreams coming true, but I lose it. I don't have the strength, the faith anymore. I'm sick of trying, yet falling down every single time. I'm sick of believing, because there's nothing to believe in at all. It's all fake. It's just a bloody illusion. No, no. I wanna die. I'm scared, I don't know what I'm scared of. The worst fear I'm facing now is being afraid of being scared. Yeah, complicated.
When I saw you today, I can't help but keep shooting secret glances at you. It hurst that much being so close to you, but not even daring to look at you straight. It's so painful. Unbearably painful. Why? Why always you're there when I'm in a bad shape, with really shitty moods? Why when I need more than anything a person to talk to, a hug from someone, you appear? I'm being stupid. I know. You don't care at all. You've already moved on. I remembered how you tried to convince and reassure me that I was really important to you, but 12 days after we fell out you told me you don't love me like you didn't ever felt anything from the start. It kills, the feeling. It does. I can only smile at my stupidity, my little fantasy. Yet, it's the only thing I want and long for now. You.
PS. I could really use a shooting star right now.
grew up in a small town,
and when the rain would fall down. i'd just stare out my window.
Hi, my name is MELISSALOKQIANHUI.
I’m currently in BOWEN secondary school, in an awesome class 3e2/4e2
I’m a part of the Bowen Military Band
That’s all you need to know, really.
dreaming of what could be,
and if i'll end up happy, i will pray.
wanna feel the warm breeze,
sleep under a palm tree, feel the rush of the ocean.
