Thursday, May 20, 2010 // 9:24 PM
I miss the time where I don't need to fake a smile to cover that frown and those tears. Heartbroken, I'm unable to smile. It's already been more than 4 months, why can't I let go? Why do I still love him? The dumbest person on earth, no doubt.
No, it's not nice at all. I'm getting weaker by the day both physically and psychologically. Yeah, I'm always feverish, then my temperature drops to numbers like 35.4 degrees celsius. It's kinda scary, the extreme type. I try not to think of it. It freaks me out as well.
Well, to think of it, there's something really wrong with my brain. I'm really really blur nowadays. I left my wallet in Nicky's bag and forget to take it bag from him before he went home. I'm left with nothing. Good thing Keith borrowed me money for lunch. I went to 958 instead of 957. Got my own block wrong. Kandice was shouting my name and I pathetically thought that a mad woman was screaming someone's name. It ain't about the blur sotong anymore. I think I suffer from brain damage or something like that. Bang my head hard too many times on the floor when I've fainted. Screws all dropped out.
I used to have that sunshine smile that never fails to make people happy. Now, that same smile makes people worried about me. Yes, they feel comforted, but they wonder if I'm really happy. What to do? It sucks to be able to make everyone but myself happy.I wonder what I can do to make them stop worrying. I'm not happy, but it doesn't matter anymore.
当你离开我，和我分开的时候，我的心已经死了。我开不开心对我而言在也不重要了。因为我的生命没有了你就没有意义了。我不知为何如今我还对你念念不忘，可是我就是那么苯的还在这里痴痴地等。我爱你。这是个改变不了的事实。人人说我很苯。我不得不承认我苯。我不明白为什么当出会看上了你，我累了。我要放弃，但我不明白为什么我放不下。 我的心痛的我已经受不了了。我不知道做错了什么，你为何要这么怕我，必须躲避我。每当我看见你，心又碎一次。非常苯啊。你跟本不在呼。我每晚不哭，睡不着。痛苦死了。但没办法。爱得太深，伤害太大了。我真是全世界最苯的人。我想你从来没爱过我吧？这都是我一相情愿的想法。我真的真的很爱你。没你的日子很难敖。死了可会好些，轻松多。你可能因为不用在见我更快乐。那样，死也死的值得。就因为那三个字，我爱你。
Thursday, May 20, 2010 // 9:24 PM
I miss the time where I don't need to fake a smile to cover that frown and those tears. Heartbroken, I'm unable to smile. It's already been more than 4 months, why can't I let go? Why do I still love him? The dumbest person on earth, no doubt.
No, it's not nice at all. I'm getting weaker by the day both physically and psychologically. Yeah, I'm always feverish, then my temperature drops to numbers like 35.4 degrees celsius. It's kinda scary, the extreme type. I try not to think of it. It freaks me out as well.
Well, to think of it, there's something really wrong with my brain. I'm really really blur nowadays. I left my wallet in Nicky's bag and forget to take it bag from him before he went home. I'm left with nothing. Good thing Keith borrowed me money for lunch. I went to 958 instead of 957. Got my own block wrong. Kandice was shouting my name and I pathetically thought that a mad woman was screaming someone's name. It ain't about the blur sotong anymore. I think I suffer from brain damage or something like that. Bang my head hard too many times on the floor when I've fainted. Screws all dropped out.
I used to have that sunshine smile that never fails to make people happy. Now, that same smile makes people worried about me. Yes, they feel comforted, but they wonder if I'm really happy. What to do? It sucks to be able to make everyone but myself happy.I wonder what I can do to make them stop worrying. I'm not happy, but it doesn't matter anymore.
当你离开我，和我分开的时候，我的心已经死了。我开不开心对我而言在也不重要了。因为我的生命没有了你就没有意义了。我不知为何如今我还对你念念不忘，可是我就是那么苯的还在这里痴痴地等。我爱你。这是个改变不了的事实。人人说我很苯。我不得不承认我苯。我不明白为什么当出会看上了你，我累了。我要放弃，但我不明白为什么我放不下。 我的心痛的我已经受不了了。我不知道做错了什么，你为何要这么怕我，必须躲避我。每当我看见你，心又碎一次。非常苯啊。你跟本不在呼。我每晚不哭，睡不着。痛苦死了。但没办法。爱得太深，伤害太大了。我真是全世界最苯的人。我想你从来没爱过我吧？这都是我一相情愿的想法。我真的真的很爱你。没你的日子很难敖。死了可会好些，轻松多。你可能因为不用在见我更快乐。那样，死也死的值得。就因为那三个字，我爱你。
grew up in a small town,
and when the rain would fall down. i'd just stare out my window.
Hi, my name is MELISSALOKQIANHUI.
I’m currently in BOWEN secondary school, in an awesome class 3e2/4e2
I’m a part of the Bowen Military Band
That’s all you need to know, really.
