Monday, March 8, 2010 // 9:25 PM
Yeah yeah. I'm the living dead. I'm being even more dead now. Nothing can distract me anymore. Not even Twilight Sequel. Reading it only makes me feel more guilty. And it's affecting my school work. I can't be bothered to study. I give up. I really give up. After all that hard work, 2 A1s, others all Bs? I might as well not study and fail everything. My life is screwed. I can't do anything right. Useless Melissa. Haha... The car didn't even want to bang her in the morning just now. Since I can't do the destress in a simpler less suicidal way, then do it dangerous. Never mind if I died anyway.
I'm soul-less that's how I feel if you ask me. I don't know what I'm doing. I'm staying away from everyone, it's a pretty blatant fact. I don't have to hide. I wished that I'll wake up tomorrow dead, in heaven I'll be. I miss everything about me. How I would carefully never hurt others, how happy I can make others around me feel even when I'm not, how I would smile my way through everything. Life has lost its meaning. There's nothing to keep me alive anymore. My useless pair of hands can't do anything. My dream, gone. I don't want to hide it anymore. I want to cry everything out, but it's impossible. I can't cry. I don't know why. I want to. I need to force it out. I don't like breaking down in the middle of nowhere. I need to die, if you were to ask me. There's nothing left in life for me. Nothing left.
PS. Sorry's not good enough. But I still have to apologise to you. I'm sorry, G.
Monday, March 8, 2010 // 9:25 PM
Yeah yeah. I'm the living dead. I'm being even more dead now. Nothing can distract me anymore. Not even Twilight Sequel. Reading it only makes me feel more guilty. And it's affecting my school work. I can't be bothered to study. I give up. I really give up. After all that hard work, 2 A1s, others all Bs? I might as well not study and fail everything. My life is screwed. I can't do anything right. Useless Melissa. Haha... The car didn't even want to bang her in the morning just now. Since I can't do the destress in a simpler less suicidal way, then do it dangerous. Never mind if I died anyway.
I'm soul-less that's how I feel if you ask me. I don't know what I'm doing. I'm staying away from everyone, it's a pretty blatant fact. I don't have to hide. I wished that I'll wake up tomorrow dead, in heaven I'll be. I miss everything about me. How I would carefully never hurt others, how happy I can make others around me feel even when I'm not, how I would smile my way through everything. Life has lost its meaning. There's nothing to keep me alive anymore. My useless pair of hands can't do anything. My dream, gone. I don't want to hide it anymore. I want to cry everything out, but it's impossible. I can't cry. I don't know why. I want to. I need to force it out. I don't like breaking down in the middle of nowhere. I need to die, if you were to ask me. There's nothing left in life for me. Nothing left.
PS. Sorry's not good enough. But I still have to apologise to you. I'm sorry, G.
grew up in a small town,
and when the rain would fall down. i'd just stare out my window.
Hi, my name is MELISSALOKQIANHUI.
I’m currently in BOWEN secondary school, in an awesome class 3e2/4e2
I’m a part of the Bowen Military Band
That’s all you need to know, really.
dreaming of what could be,
and if i'll end up happy, i will pray.
