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buildings with a hundred floors,
spinning 'round revolving doors.
baby i don't know where they'll take me.

entries about chat links



breakaway
a short profile perhaps ?
a music player or hit counter ?
Tuesday, March 9, 2010 // 10:21 PM

I need to vent everything out. Vent isn't really the right word, because it's not the anger. It's just everything, stress, stupidity, foolishness, upsetting happenings and all things happening. I'm starting to hate myself, really I do. I didn't know it's wrong to be alone too. I need to cool down, I want to be separated, loner or not? Damn it. I know I should have felt loads better by this time, but things ARE indeed getting worse. I became selfish, hurt someone I loved dearly, my best friend. I don't know what else to do or say. He ain't angry. And that's the thing that kills me. I'd feel loads better if he hated me.

School sucks. I am in no mood to concentrate. I just can't sit and listen. I can't keep my mind off somethings. Things just drop by in my mind and never go away. Stupid. Suicide is definitely an option when you're completely mental. I need to do some thing to distract me. That explains the reading in class. Got caught by Mrs Li again. I really think that she thinks that I've been sms-ing. I was reading Eclipse. I need to do something to not read in class and don't allow crap into my brain at the same time. I was super distracted during band practice today. I just made all the mistakes in one day in a run of the formation. I ought to be shot dead. Something's wrong. I don't know what is. Whatever reason it is that got me standing in the middle of the road, not noticing what's wrong (plain idiocy) standing there thinking of what I've been doing, it better ben non-stupid. Or else I'll throw myself out of the window immediately. I don't know. I need to do something to stop that, since I was disallowed to do what I've done in the past, then I'll do something else. Maybe experiment with needles and keys. That'll be fun.

PS. Cutting my hair didn't make those things go away. I hate myself for being so stupid.