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buildings with a hundred floors,
spinning 'round revolving doors.
baby i don't know where they'll take me.

entries about chat links



breakaway
a short profile perhaps ?
a music player or hit counter ?
Monday, February 15, 2010 // 10:45 PM

Yesterday was totally boring, saw Natalie, didn't really talk to her. Felt really bad after it. I was busy playing Poker. Gambled? Not really we didn't gamble with money, but with water. I won. It's the first time I played poker, single luck I guess. Bad romantic luck as always, bring me luck gambling. Yu Fei owed 99 cups of water. Biggest loser. In the end minus my 23 because I won (see me emphasizing? ego rush), he only had to drink 76 cups. Not fun, because no one drank and settled their 'debts' in the end. Sucks right? Especially when you're the winner. Got only a bit of angbao money this year. Screwed my life, Jake is still not picking up any of my calls. I only can apologise, I have had a bad new year. A even worst Valentines' Day. So what if I'm all alone and lonely? Now I'm even losing all my friends. He's leaving. Leaving in three months time, we promised to cherish the time left before being separated for four long years. Best friends, what has that relationship have left? I lost everything over drinks.

Enough of sadness, even though I'm sad. Went to watch Valentines' Day with Rafiqah just now. Not a movie that I should be watching. No doubt, I cried. I always cry watching movies. For a romance movie, I guess it isn't that bad. Edgar's conversation with Estelle made me understand why I was so stupid all these while. It's how it is when you love someone. Well, some people don't understand. Don't assume you know who it is, because it's not a guy I'm referring to. It's just how life is. Ironic, and you just don't get it. You don't get why you do things, why you don't blow when you are supposed to. Well, it still sucks seeing everyone hugging and kissing everywhere, seeing couples walking everywhere, sitting together celebrating belated Valentines' Day and you're all alone, feeling lonely. Last year, yes. I was single, at least I had the guys that very gentlemanly celebrated with me. Crazy celebration, they sang and played all about you, but at least I know someone had a heart to do all that and that they'll always be behind my back supporting me, cheering me up and it was time to move on. This year, it's just how it should be for all single lonely people. Spend it yourself. Feel sad and lonely because no one on earth cares for you, nobody loves you. Let's hope, let's hope. Next year would be better. I still have a lonely birthday and christmas to spend myself this year. One coming in 6 months time, one in 10 months time. Sucks.