buildings with a hundred floors, spinning 'round revolving doors.
baby i don't know where they'll take me.
entriesaboutchatlinks
breakaway
a short profile perhaps ?
a music player or hit counter ?
Wednesday, February 24, 2010 // 10:05 PM
Common tests are over, for me. Good luck to the physics paper. I'm pretty worried about biology paper today, everybody's saying that it's hard. I find it okay. Which means 99.999% I'm over confident and will fail badly. That suck. A-math wasn't that bad. Won't do well, but will pass, or at least I think so. I don't know, I'm just relieved that it's over. Finally over. But well, this 40 more days ahead will be like shit. We know why. I don't what to say. I'm not going to the doctor's, it hurts, but I may have to face a reality I never would want to. I haven't got the strength to face it.
I just hate my life. It's so ever-depressing. Sucks, but it's still my life. I've forgotten how to smile. I don't know how to feel happy, the taste of strawberries' gone, life's but a painful, depressing, hurting job that you can't quit until your life is finally over. I just don't know how to live it. I don't know. If that actually mean anything. NOPE. It doesn't. Never ending dreams just line up in my brain and show themselves to me. It feels like watching movies, but I'm always the protagonist. I know they'll never happen. I know it won't. I'm going to go mad if this carries on. I laugh at every hurting moment, every happy moment, but it's not from inside. It's just a reaction, when you don't know how to react. It just makes me recall how stupid I always am. It's not everyday nobody's there for little Joanna, when Tom Fletcher's song isn't the magic for me any more. I'm numbed by all the pain. I don't know how to cry. It's no way I can go on without getting it all out. It really feels constipated. How I wished I could at least remembered how to cry. I don't know why I was dumb enough to promise to not do it anymore. Whenever I see sharp things, it tempts me. I need to cry. I need to feel the pain. I'm just lost in my own world, without emotions. Some people are still adding on to it. Call themselves good friends, they can just ignore you, not bother about you waiting for their replies, not caring about you. Good friends. Now I know what that means. I don't get things. I can't understand. I'm just too stupid. I can't understand this complicated world. If dying was an option, I would gladly choose it. Even until now.
PS. Nothing you do now matter. I'll just laugh it away. It's just funny that you actually bother to do such stupid things. ASSHOLE.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010 // 10:05 PM
Common tests are over, for me. Good luck to the physics paper. I'm pretty worried about biology paper today, everybody's saying that it's hard. I find it okay. Which means 99.999% I'm over confident and will fail badly. That suck. A-math wasn't that bad. Won't do well, but will pass, or at least I think so. I don't know, I'm just relieved that it's over. Finally over. But well, this 40 more days ahead will be like shit. We know why. I don't what to say. I'm not going to the doctor's, it hurts, but I may have to face a reality I never would want to. I haven't got the strength to face it.
I just hate my life. It's so ever-depressing. Sucks, but it's still my life. I've forgotten how to smile. I don't know how to feel happy, the taste of strawberries' gone, life's but a painful, depressing, hurting job that you can't quit until your life is finally over. I just don't know how to live it. I don't know. If that actually mean anything. NOPE. It doesn't. Never ending dreams just line up in my brain and show themselves to me. It feels like watching movies, but I'm always the protagonist. I know they'll never happen. I know it won't. I'm going to go mad if this carries on. I laugh at every hurting moment, every happy moment, but it's not from inside. It's just a reaction, when you don't know how to react. It just makes me recall how stupid I always am. It's not everyday nobody's there for little Joanna, when Tom Fletcher's song isn't the magic for me any more. I'm numbed by all the pain. I don't know how to cry. It's no way I can go on without getting it all out. It really feels constipated. How I wished I could at least remembered how to cry. I don't know why I was dumb enough to promise to not do it anymore. Whenever I see sharp things, it tempts me. I need to cry. I need to feel the pain. I'm just lost in my own world, without emotions. Some people are still adding on to it. Call themselves good friends, they can just ignore you, not bother about you waiting for their replies, not caring about you. Good friends. Now I know what that means. I don't get things. I can't understand. I'm just too stupid. I can't understand this complicated world. If dying was an option, I would gladly choose it. Even until now.
PS. Nothing you do now matter. I'll just laugh it away. It's just funny that you actually bother to do such stupid things. ASSHOLE.
grew up in a small town,
and when the rain would fall down. i'd just stare out my window.
Hi, my name is MELISSALOKQIANHUI.
I’m currently in BOWEN secondary school, in an awesome class 3e2/4e2
I’m a part of the Bowen Military Band
That’s all you need to know, really.
dreaming of what could be,
and if i'll end up happy, i will pray.
wanna feel the warm breeze,
sleep under a palm tree, feel the rush of the ocean.
