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buildings with a hundred floors,
spinning 'round revolving doors.
baby i don't know where they'll take me.

entries about chat links



breakaway
a short profile perhaps ?
a music player or hit counter ?
Wednesday, February 3, 2010 // 11:00 PM

Big girls don't cry. Something that keep coming out of the four of ours minds nowadays. Shannon, Danielle, Desiree and I. Four of us use that sentence all the time, but never apply it to ourselves. We keep crying. I have that right, because I'm the youngest. I'm only 14. Still.

School sucked, mood was good for a while, until Chemistry class. Got slapped hard by Ying Han for no good reason. Got angry and ignored him completely. Say I'm petty, but whatever. Even my mum haven't slapped me before in my life. I'm having really bad mood today? Maybe it just unknowingly happened. Bad luck since morning. How irritating? I'm just not used to everything when Jake isn't around. I wonder how I survived without him for so long last time. Too attached to him for a while this time round. He can't just leave me there crying and not care about me, watching me cry. That's how everything starts. Mood bad, Jake is overseas, I have nobody to turn to, nobody to hug me, nobody to bitch to. Sucks. Since last night everything's bad. Turned worse. Everything just did. At least shopping made my mood a bit better. Went to Parkway Parade to find mummy after school to shop for my new year stuff. Bought accessories, dresses, a wallet, a bag and a pair of boots. I finally bought boots, but too bad it's only like 1.5 inches high. One less thing to worry about, but I'm really broke. Save up! That's what I'm gonna do. No more shopping for me.

I don't get it. I really don't. Why can't you be honest to yourself. I really don't. Either you're lying to her, or me. I don't know what to believe in, what else to do. Others can look through everything clearly, telling me everything. I daren't believe anymore. I'm just scared. It's enough. The pain is enough.

PS. never had a dream come true.