buildings with a hundred floors, spinning 'round revolving doors.
baby i don't know where they'll take me.
entriesaboutchatlinks
breakaway
a short profile perhaps ?
a music player or hit counter ?
Saturday, January 16, 2010 // 11:31 PM
Today's a weird day. No more music listening on the bus for me, because it makes me feel like shit. Really shit. I was all in control and fine until after SF. Still went when my stomach was crazy. Best of the self-mutilation. Well, my stomach going crazy wasn't self-inflicted. So no self-mutilating at all today. Good or bad, I don't know at all.
Went tracting with the YF people and Leck Hui's group. I was pretty surprised that I talked. I thought I'd just be there slacking and feeling like shit. XY kept me in control for a while. Went to sleep at grandma's house, so nothing happened. I'm really tired today. I spent too much time thinking about everything all the time. I'm losing sleep, I can't sleep at all, I don't want to sleep because I don't want to dream. I'm tired because I can't stop crying. I must superglue myself to XY darling more, to keep me in control. Haha... I think she'll get really annoyed soon if I continue to be like that.
People, stop trying to change me, or help me. Nothing can help now. I know you people are concerned, are very concerned for that matter, but please please understand that I won't be okay in a while. In a long while. I don't think I can really smile and laugh until eons later. Everything seem unimportant and meaningless now. Don't worry, I won't kill myself. I don't need to make myself die when I'm already dead. Since the heart is already dead, what's the point? Nothing can change or stop it now. Too bad. I know you people are really really worried about me, concerned about me and angry with me. I appreciate your concern. Thanks everyone for being there, showering with all those love, being so caring, taking care of me, encouraging me and consoling me. Please just forgive me for disappointing you people time and again. I really can't do it. I'm not as strong as what you people think and will never be. I'm so so sorry.
Saturday, January 16, 2010 // 11:31 PM
Today's a weird day. No more music listening on the bus for me, because it makes me feel like shit. Really shit. I was all in control and fine until after SF. Still went when my stomach was crazy. Best of the self-mutilation. Well, my stomach going crazy wasn't self-inflicted. So no self-mutilating at all today. Good or bad, I don't know at all.
Went tracting with the YF people and Leck Hui's group. I was pretty surprised that I talked. I thought I'd just be there slacking and feeling like shit. XY kept me in control for a while. Went to sleep at grandma's house, so nothing happened. I'm really tired today. I spent too much time thinking about everything all the time. I'm losing sleep, I can't sleep at all, I don't want to sleep because I don't want to dream. I'm tired because I can't stop crying. I must superglue myself to XY darling more, to keep me in control. Haha... I think she'll get really annoyed soon if I continue to be like that.
People, stop trying to change me, or help me. Nothing can help now. I know you people are concerned, are very concerned for that matter, but please please understand that I won't be okay in a while. In a long while. I don't think I can really smile and laugh until eons later. Everything seem unimportant and meaningless now. Don't worry, I won't kill myself. I don't need to make myself die when I'm already dead. Since the heart is already dead, what's the point? Nothing can change or stop it now. Too bad. I know you people are really really worried about me, concerned about me and angry with me. I appreciate your concern. Thanks everyone for being there, showering with all those love, being so caring, taking care of me, encouraging me and consoling me. Please just forgive me for disappointing you people time and again. I really can't do it. I'm not as strong as what you people think and will never be. I'm so so sorry.
grew up in a small town,
and when the rain would fall down. i'd just stare out my window.
Hi, my name is MELISSALOKQIANHUI.
I’m currently in BOWEN secondary school, in an awesome class 3e2/4e2
I’m a part of the Bowen Military Band
That’s all you need to know, really.
dreaming of what could be,
and if i'll end up happy, i will pray.
wanna feel the warm breeze,
sleep under a palm tree, feel the rush of the ocean.
