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buildings with a hundred floors,
spinning 'round revolving doors.
baby i don't know where they'll take me.

entries about chat links



breakaway
a short profile perhaps ?
a music player or hit counter ?
Sunday, January 17, 2010 // 10:24 PM

Maybe life should just end today, because I don't have the strength to face tomorrow anymore. When was the last time I let this came out of my mouth? I can't seem to remember anymore. A few weeks ago, was the time where the happiest events in my life took place, nothing seem to big for me to overcome. Now, every single obstacle is too difficult for me. I'm too tired. Fatigue has taken over and reign over me. I can't be bothered with doing my homework, I don't care if I fail my tests. I don't care if I'm gonna die the next second and regret living my lie this way and going to hell the next moment.

The whole world thinks that I'm crazy, the whole world is driven crazy all thanks to me. My whole world, for that matter. Jake screamed at me just now on the phone, he got too pissed. Rafiqah is completely ignoring me. Melynda scolded me for being dumb and retarded. Got scolded by my parents 'cause they bloody found out. They don't get it do they? If they do, they won't think that way. People think I am crazy, because now I really am. I know I'm dumb, stupid, retarded, insane and crazy. I've done what needs to be done to stop the pain. I don't know what else to do. Can you people just spend sometime to understand before starting to get all angry and fed up with what I do? You don't need to care, because now, even I don't care. I can't be bothered anymore. If I'm gonna get tetanus and die tomorrow so be it. What's the point of living when I'm already dead. I don't need to kill myself, I'll just let it die off. No point when it's dead already. It don't matter anymore. So don't care about what I do with my life. It's mine not yours. I gave it up, so give up. I can't face tomorrow anymore. I'm just can't. Stop forcing me. My body's already reacting. No matter what happens, it won't matter to anyone anymore.

PS. I just can't do what you want me to. I don't care whether you know it or not anymore, because it won't matter to you. It never did. I never did. I never will. It never will. I just can't help it. That's how much I love you. If you don't get it, by all means. I did it because I was really really angry. I'm too tired to carry on. I don't think I'll get over you in a while. So stop asking me to do what you know is impossible to do.