buildings with a hundred floors, spinning 'round revolving doors.
baby i don't know where they'll take me.
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a short profile perhaps ?
a music player or hit counter ?
Saturday, December 12, 2009 // 7:58 AM
I don't know, I'm really confused. These days, I'm all weird and courageous. I'm actually not hiding, but facing every problem at my doorstep. I don't know how I did it. You gave me the courage for everything. Bea blames herself for making the wrong decision for me. But she didn't know that I'd still not have the courage to do something like that even if she's made the decision for me. The only reason that I've had the courage to do it, to tell you it's because of you. You gave it to me. I've done things that I'm never knew I could. I've had the courage to do things that I know I never will. I wondered and wondered that day, after typing the SMS. I keep staring. For an hour, more than that then I sent it. I don't know why I did it. It's just not like me. I've changed so much for you. It's just weird. I laugh at nothing. Just into the air. I laugh reading SMSes you sent. I can just ignore people and my food when I was really hungry to enjoy SMSing you and reading your SMS pissing my section off. I'm crazily in love. I wasn't even so out of control when I was dating. I don't know I really don't. And your answer left me hanging there, in the middle of nowhere. You didn't reject me, I'd rather you did sometimes. I really do. At least things would be less complicated. Now I've face talking to you about it again, and I'm risking everything, the great friendship we've build, every single thing. I'm risk screwing them up by that few minutes those words come out of my mouth.
Yesterday was a painful day. I don't know why I went to march when my ankle joint's gonna drop off any second. Good thing everything got loads better after lunch break. I didn't feel that painful. I did the formation with them, because it's the last time this year. And it's just my way of giving them support before they go to KL for competition. I feel really bad for not going with them now. I'm so gonna miss them, even though school's starting soon, and I came see them really really soon. I feel like taking a bus to KL on Friday and see them compete on Saturday. I felt like crying so much when i left early for tuition yesterday. I felt like staying to spend the last day at band for this year with them. I don't know why I've become so emotional these few weeks. But well, all is done. I'm leaving on Sunday. I guess by then, everything's gonna be more stable. No, actually I don' think it'll be. A week without encouraging SMSes, calls and I don't know how I'm gonna survive that. Gone is my courage for next week.
Till then,
Melissa
PS. I really really love you. I don't know how I'm gonna survive without seeing you and contacting you for a whole week. It has come to a point that I'm relying on you to live everyday. You spoonfeeding me with your concern and love keeps me going, gives me courage to face everything I once fear. To think of it, I may screw everything up on Sunday before I leave freaks me out. But I know that's the right thing to do. I can't keep going on like that not knowing the path I'm treading on. I can't go on not knowing who I am to you. Because I feel more than a friend to you, far more than one already. I love you.
Saturday, December 12, 2009 // 7:58 AM
I don't know, I'm really confused. These days, I'm all weird and courageous. I'm actually not hiding, but facing every problem at my doorstep. I don't know how I did it. You gave me the courage for everything. Bea blames herself for making the wrong decision for me. But she didn't know that I'd still not have the courage to do something like that even if she's made the decision for me. The only reason that I've had the courage to do it, to tell you it's because of you. You gave it to me. I've done things that I'm never knew I could. I've had the courage to do things that I know I never will. I wondered and wondered that day, after typing the SMS. I keep staring. For an hour, more than that then I sent it. I don't know why I did it. It's just not like me. I've changed so much for you. It's just weird. I laugh at nothing. Just into the air. I laugh reading SMSes you sent. I can just ignore people and my food when I was really hungry to enjoy SMSing you and reading your SMS pissing my section off. I'm crazily in love. I wasn't even so out of control when I was dating. I don't know I really don't. And your answer left me hanging there, in the middle of nowhere. You didn't reject me, I'd rather you did sometimes. I really do. At least things would be less complicated. Now I've face talking to you about it again, and I'm risking everything, the great friendship we've build, every single thing. I'm risk screwing them up by that few minutes those words come out of my mouth.
Yesterday was a painful day. I don't know why I went to march when my ankle joint's gonna drop off any second. Good thing everything got loads better after lunch break. I didn't feel that painful. I did the formation with them, because it's the last time this year. And it's just my way of giving them support before they go to KL for competition. I feel really bad for not going with them now. I'm so gonna miss them, even though school's starting soon, and I came see them really really soon. I feel like taking a bus to KL on Friday and see them compete on Saturday. I felt like crying so much when i left early for tuition yesterday. I felt like staying to spend the last day at band for this year with them. I don't know why I've become so emotional these few weeks. But well, all is done. I'm leaving on Sunday. I guess by then, everything's gonna be more stable. No, actually I don' think it'll be. A week without encouraging SMSes, calls and I don't know how I'm gonna survive that. Gone is my courage for next week.
Till then,
Melissa
PS. I really really love you. I don't know how I'm gonna survive without seeing you and contacting you for a whole week. It has come to a point that I'm relying on you to live everyday. You spoonfeeding me with your concern and love keeps me going, gives me courage to face everything I once fear. To think of it, I may screw everything up on Sunday before I leave freaks me out. But I know that's the right thing to do. I can't keep going on like that not knowing the path I'm treading on. I can't go on not knowing who I am to you. Because I feel more than a friend to you, far more than one already. I love you.
grew up in a small town,
and when the rain would fall down. i'd just stare out my window.
Hi, my name is MELISSALOKQIANHUI.
I’m currently in BOWEN secondary school, in an awesome class 3e2/4e2
I’m a part of the Bowen Military Band
That’s all you need to know, really.
dreaming of what could be,
and if i'll end up happy, i will pray.
wanna feel the warm breeze,
sleep under a palm tree, feel the rush of the ocean.
